I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
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Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
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No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying