I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.