so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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