I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize