She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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