My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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