"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
