dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
