I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
