go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
