I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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