I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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