Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
