i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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