just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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