i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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