Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
