Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
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