We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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