my vag is so smooth its legendary
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
