whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
