Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I have aggressive nipples.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
