1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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