I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize