I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
