so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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