If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Randomize
