I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
