i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
