Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Randomize
