Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
hell yes lets make some ravioli
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
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