There is no way he is gay with that hair.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Randomize
