I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
