I CAN MOONWALK!
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
