ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
