they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
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