Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
