I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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