he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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