His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
