You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
