found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
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