Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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