I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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