I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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