..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
