Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
