She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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