yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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