There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Randomize
