You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
