some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize