I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
