Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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