i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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