my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
