i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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