a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
