This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
