She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
