3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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