try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Randomize
